Most people who are in relationships married or otherwise often dont realise when they are being sexually abused. They cannot identify the actions that constitute abuse and because of this, they do nothing. They dont know its wrong; they dont know that they can do something about it to make it stop. They feel helpless and think that they have to endure it.
What is sexual abuse therefore? It is anything that another person does to your body without your honest and willing consent. This means:
any manner of touching, or mistreatment in any way, of your body
In other words, if someone forces you into any form of sexual activity in which you dont want to participate; if someone exercises control over both you and the situation and insists upon this happening you are now the victim of sexual abuse.
These abusive love/sex relationships can not only make you feel dirty and ashamed but also unloved and worthless. After all if youre submitting yourself to any of the above, it is simply because you are scared of being rejected by your partner, or afraid of causing their anger towards you.
If this is happening to you you should realise that you dont have a relationship worth keeping. In situations such as these, there is no real relationship and love has no place in these circumstances.
Chances are that your abuser (who really isnt your partner and never was once this started) is all about control and power. They dont have any love or respect for you: they are just selfish bullies.
If you dont want to do any of these things; or, if you just dont want to have sex with your domestic partner, you should be allowed to say no with no repercussions. However, if you are made to feel guilty (or worse) because of this then take another look at what you think is your relationship and ask yourself if you are happy being made to feel unhappy and less important than your partner.
The answer to the above question has to be no. You are also now in a position where failure to do something about this treatment means you accept it.
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